for anglophobes everywhere...
Did you hear about the bigot who hates all things English? He makes a good living in the Concreting business, because almost everything in the City depends on this industry. It's just a pity that reinforced concrete was invented by W.B. Wilkinson in Newcastle, England.
Our bigot's home uses electric power generated by steam turbines, which were invented by Sir Charles Parsons. Many of his home appliances use electric motors, which were invented by Londoner Michael Faraday. These range from vacuum cleaners, the invention of Englishman Hubert Booth, to sewing machines, invented by Englishman Charles Weisenhall back in 1755.
However, not all of his appliances run on electric motors. There's his Microwave Oven, based on the Magnetron invented by Sir John Randall and Dr H A H Boot at Birmingham University. His modern Central Heating unit, designed by Englishman A H Barker, and even his TV set, the brainchild of Englishman Shelford Bidwell. Even the television's production depended on the invention of the cathode-ray tube by London physicist Sir William Crookes.
All of these things reminded our bigot too much of England, so he turned on his radio for news from another country more to his liking. It didn't help much though, because he remembered that satellite radio transmitters are powered by fuel cells invented by the English chemist Francis T Bacon.
He thought of expressing his frustration by writing an angry letter. But it wouldn't go anywhere without the postal system, created in London by Sir Rowland Hill. That is, unless he chose to send his letter by e-mail on a computer - the brainchild of Englishman Sir Charles Babbage.
Our bigot then briefly considered getting away from it all - flying off to some remote place with nothing to remind him of English genius. But then he recalled that modern jet aircraft engines were designed by English test pilot Sir Frank Whittle.
He then decided to do some home chores, so he thought about washing the dishes - but his kitchen sink is made of stainless steel, invented by Englishman Sir Harry Brearly. To make matters worse, he noticed that his favourite and most useful kitchen utensils were made of plastic, the brainchild of Birmingham professor Alexander Parkes.
So, desperate to avoid the brilliance of the English, he headed out doors - passing on the way his modern WC, designed by Londoner Alexander Cummings. Once outside, he noticed that the lawn was a bit overgrown because he couldn't bring himself to use the lawn mower, originally designed by Edwin Budding of Gloucestershire.
Our bigot, now completely distracted by anger, turned around and walked straight into one of his prized rose bushes, badly scratching his arms and hands. Briefly, he was glad that his Tetanus shots were up to date - until he remembered that immunisation was discovered by Dr Edward Jenner, another Gloucestershire man.
This was all too much - All of this contact with English brilliance just about gave the poor chap a heart attack. It's just as well that he had previously been fitted with a cardiac pacemaker, the invention of English surgeon W H Walshe.
Feeling very run-down, emotionally depressed and really quite ill, our bigot decided that he'd better go to the doctors for a check-up. After a breif consultation, the doctor announced that he needed an urgent blood transfusion to save his life. Fortunately, this was quickly arranged and our bigot survived - thanks mostly to James Blundell, who pioneered blood transfusions at Guy's Hospital, London.
"...but apart from ALL that... What, EXACTLY, have the English ever done for us, eh?"
7 June 2007
Falklands 25
Thursday 14 June 2007 marks the 25th anniversary of the liberation of the Falkland Islands following the invasion by Argentina on 2nd April 1982. Nearly 1,000 people lost their lives during the conflict and many others made huge personal sacrifices.
Since then, the Falkland Islands have flourished, both economically and socially, and are still a dependent territory of Britain, and will remain so for as long as the Islanders wish.
The events are commemorating the achievements of all those involved in the conflict 25 years ago. There will be ceremonies and a veterans march amongst other events.
The South Atlantic Medal Association 1982 (SAMA 82) are hosting the Veteran’s re-union that will follow the ceremonies on Horse Guards Parade. Support from sponsors and through merchandising will contribute to the re-union and allow other funds to be raised for SAMA 82. The organisation is currently fundraising for the 25th Anniversary Pilgrimage that will enable South Atlantic Veterans to re-visit the Falkland Islands. The 2007 pilgrimage will take place in November and will include around 200 Veterans of the confli
Sunday 17th June 2007
National Commemorative Event
Commencing: 14:30 PM
Place: Horse Guards Parade, London
OFFICIAL EVENT - This will be a high impact visual event on Horse Guards Parade involving a live link up with the Falkland Islands. Central to the event will be the personal recollections of veterans and Islanders as they tell their stories in their own words. This event includes a march past and flypast, and will be shown live on BBC Television.
FOR MORE INFORMATION WHY NOT VISIT - http://www.falklands25.com/
Since then, the Falkland Islands have flourished, both economically and socially, and are still a dependent territory of Britain, and will remain so for as long as the Islanders wish.
The events are commemorating the achievements of all those involved in the conflict 25 years ago. There will be ceremonies and a veterans march amongst other events.
The South Atlantic Medal Association 1982 (SAMA 82) are hosting the Veteran’s re-union that will follow the ceremonies on Horse Guards Parade. Support from sponsors and through merchandising will contribute to the re-union and allow other funds to be raised for SAMA 82. The organisation is currently fundraising for the 25th Anniversary Pilgrimage that will enable South Atlantic Veterans to re-visit the Falkland Islands. The 2007 pilgrimage will take place in November and will include around 200 Veterans of the confli
Sunday 17th June 2007
National Commemorative Event
Commencing: 14:30 PM
Place: Horse Guards Parade, London
OFFICIAL EVENT - This will be a high impact visual event on Horse Guards Parade involving a live link up with the Falkland Islands. Central to the event will be the personal recollections of veterans and Islanders as they tell their stories in their own words. This event includes a march past and flypast, and will be shown live on BBC Television.
FOR MORE INFORMATION WHY NOT VISIT - http://www.falklands25.com/
6 June 2007
Immigration
'This would only make a bad situation worse'
Commentary
By Andrew Green
Chairman of Migration Watch UK
The Daily Telegraph, London, 08 May, 2007
Welcome to Great Britain - the softest touch in the world. That is the message sent out by yesterday's demonstration in Trafalgar Square. It may have been well intentioned - but it was also deeply misguided.
The immigration lobby, together with some church leaders are proposing that illegal immigrants who have been here for four or more years should be admitted to a " two year pathway" to full legal rights. This would entitle them to access to the welfare state and citizenship eventually. They could also bring over their families.
This is an amnesty in all but name.
There are somewhere between 500,000 and a million illegal immigrants here. Some arrived on the back of a truck, some overstayed their visas. Others are failed asylum seekers the Government has failed to remove. Many are being exploited by their employers. The Chinese cockle pickers drowned in Morecambe Bay are the most obvious example.
This hidden labour force holds down wages for all unskilled workers and enables unscrupulous employers to undercut honest ones. It also damages the reputation of legal immigrants.
An amnesty will be pointless if those who are legalised are simply replaced. Some 70 per cent of illegal immigrants are brought here by people-smugglers who will be the first to spot a new market.
Others will be tempted to overstay on visitor or student visas to work at less than the minimum wage but for more than they could earn at home.
Even now migrants are lining up in Sangatte for an opportunity to get to Britain. The prospect of an amnesty will attract even more. Italy and Spain have each granted five or six amnesties in the last 20 years and almost every time have faced even more applications.
An amnesty would be expensive for the tax payer. The immigration lobby is claiming a net gain to the Exchequer of between £500 million to £1 billion. This takes no account of the extra cost of adding 500,000 people to the welfare state.
More immediate is the effect on housing. Once granted Leave to Remain, these migrants will become entitled to social housing. As single people they would join a waiting list. If their families arrived they would move up the priority list.
There is already a sense of unfairness among the indigenous working class. They feel that they have paid into the system for many years while new arrivals immediately claim benefits. Indeed, 76 per cent of the public oppose an amnesty. The Government ignores such strong feelings at its peril.
So what is the alternative? First, we must restore control of our borders, including checking people in and out by name. This is now planned but it will be years before it is in place.
Second, we need to bear down on employers of illegal workers. The Government has spoken of heavy fines, the use of the Proceeds of Crime Act and prison sentences for company directors.
However, in the last five years there has been only a handful of successful prosecutions. Even now there are only about a dozen officials devoted to this task.
The third step is to permit illegal immigrants to leave Britain without risk of arrest. Some have been imprisoned after being arrested for an immigration offence on their way out.
A departure amnesty would make sense, especially combined with tighter regulation of the job market and restricting access to our education, health and welfare state.
The prospect of an amnesty will only retain the illegals we have and attract more. It will shift the exploitation to another group of victims and will perpetuate the undercutting of honest employers and workers. In reality, it is foolishness. It would make a bad situation worse.
Sir Andrew Green is a former British Ambassador to Saudi Arabia and Syria.
© Copyright of Sir Andrew Green
Commentary
By Andrew Green
Chairman of Migration Watch UK
The Daily Telegraph, London, 08 May, 2007
Welcome to Great Britain - the softest touch in the world. That is the message sent out by yesterday's demonstration in Trafalgar Square. It may have been well intentioned - but it was also deeply misguided.
The immigration lobby, together with some church leaders are proposing that illegal immigrants who have been here for four or more years should be admitted to a " two year pathway" to full legal rights. This would entitle them to access to the welfare state and citizenship eventually. They could also bring over their families.
This is an amnesty in all but name.
There are somewhere between 500,000 and a million illegal immigrants here. Some arrived on the back of a truck, some overstayed their visas. Others are failed asylum seekers the Government has failed to remove. Many are being exploited by their employers. The Chinese cockle pickers drowned in Morecambe Bay are the most obvious example.
This hidden labour force holds down wages for all unskilled workers and enables unscrupulous employers to undercut honest ones. It also damages the reputation of legal immigrants.
An amnesty will be pointless if those who are legalised are simply replaced. Some 70 per cent of illegal immigrants are brought here by people-smugglers who will be the first to spot a new market.
Others will be tempted to overstay on visitor or student visas to work at less than the minimum wage but for more than they could earn at home.
Even now migrants are lining up in Sangatte for an opportunity to get to Britain. The prospect of an amnesty will attract even more. Italy and Spain have each granted five or six amnesties in the last 20 years and almost every time have faced even more applications.
An amnesty would be expensive for the tax payer. The immigration lobby is claiming a net gain to the Exchequer of between £500 million to £1 billion. This takes no account of the extra cost of adding 500,000 people to the welfare state.
More immediate is the effect on housing. Once granted Leave to Remain, these migrants will become entitled to social housing. As single people they would join a waiting list. If their families arrived they would move up the priority list.
There is already a sense of unfairness among the indigenous working class. They feel that they have paid into the system for many years while new arrivals immediately claim benefits. Indeed, 76 per cent of the public oppose an amnesty. The Government ignores such strong feelings at its peril.
So what is the alternative? First, we must restore control of our borders, including checking people in and out by name. This is now planned but it will be years before it is in place.
Second, we need to bear down on employers of illegal workers. The Government has spoken of heavy fines, the use of the Proceeds of Crime Act and prison sentences for company directors.
However, in the last five years there has been only a handful of successful prosecutions. Even now there are only about a dozen officials devoted to this task.
The third step is to permit illegal immigrants to leave Britain without risk of arrest. Some have been imprisoned after being arrested for an immigration offence on their way out.
A departure amnesty would make sense, especially combined with tighter regulation of the job market and restricting access to our education, health and welfare state.
The prospect of an amnesty will only retain the illegals we have and attract more. It will shift the exploitation to another group of victims and will perpetuate the undercutting of honest employers and workers. In reality, it is foolishness. It would make a bad situation worse.
Sir Andrew Green is a former British Ambassador to Saudi Arabia and Syria.
© Copyright of Sir Andrew Green
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